You'll Never Find Nobody Better Than Me

We all have certain songs that we associate - by choice or by accident - with relationships, sex, and love. Maxwell's "A Woman's Worth," Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know," Adina Howard's "Freak," and Keith Sweat's "Make It Last Forever" are just a few examples... I'm sure you all have many more, with stories too!

After reading "Love in the Time of Darwinism," an article by City Journal's Kay S. Hymowitz, I was inspired to reintroduce my music blogger self to my Carrie Bradshaw self: earlier this year, we tackled the topic of open marriage together, so why not back-track and collaborate on the chaotic world of contemporary dating? The Darwinism article defines itself as "a report from the chaotic postfeminist dating scene, where only the strong survive," and provides a thorough evaluation of what both males and females go through as participants in the ever-evolving process. Let's start with some male perspective:

"The woman may be hoping for a hookup, but she may also be looking for a husband, a co-parent, a sperm donor, a relationship, a threesome, or a temporary place to live. She may want one thing in November and another by Christmas. 'I’ve gone through phases in my life where I bounce between serial monogamy, Very Serious Relationships and extremely casual sex,' writes Megan Carpentier on Jezebel, a popular website for young women. 'I’ve slept next to guys on the first date, had sex on the first date, allowed no more than a cheek kiss, dispensed with the date-concept altogether after kissing the guy on the way to his car, fucked a couple of close friends and, more rarely, slept with a guy I didn’t care if I ever saw again.' Okay, wonders the ordinary guy with only middling psychic powers, which is it tonight?"

I guess that is rough to deal with, but NEWFLASH gentlemen: the ladies deal with it too! Men change their minds and send just as many mixed-signals as women do. It's human nature! In high school, I added the acronym BBD to my verbal arsenal - the Bigger Better Deal - representing the idea that people constantly want to upgrade their mate. AKA Darwinism, our inherent/biological desire to evolve (right, Boz?). Now, mix that madness with the current social climate, where technology plays such a large role in our day-to-day communication, and it's like adding yet another log to a fire that's already out of control...

"Women complain that instead of calling to ask them out, or even make plans for a date, men simply text, 'Heading downtown. Where r u?' as they walk to the subway. That may be deliberate. 'There is no longer any reason to answer the phone when a woman calls you or return her call when she leaves you a message,' insists one dating pro at World of Seduction. 'What should you do? Text message, of course.' Text messages, he argues, deflect unnecessary personal involvement and keep women on edge. Game goes even further, actually encouraging men to 'neg' their 'target' women—that is, to undermine their confidence subtly by ignoring or mildly insulting them. The hotter the woman, the more essential it is to neg her."

Awesome. SMH- but I'm not even mad! Although I believe I'm more direct and honest than most girls when it comes to communicating, I too am guilty of playing into these kinds of strategic tactics. But is it our fault, or a result of the technology? What came first- the chicken or the egg? All of these relationship woes leave so much to be discussed, which, if you ask me, brings it all back to the music. And since this blog serves as the soundtrack to current events, applying music to dating is no big feat. 808s and Heartbreak? - Literally. Good album title Kanye. Very fitting for my theme...

Kanye West "Heartless"

Dealing with some wishy-washy relationship drama, Ye asks his lady "how could you be so heartless?!" And who knows. Maybe she's a soul thief like he claims, or maybe his actions have worn her down to nothing. We'll probably never know.

Solange "T.O.N.Y"

Open and unapologetic in her lyrics, Solange lets us into her seemingly insecure world after a one night stand. "He wasn't just a regular guy," she claims, simultaneously noting her stubbornness- "but I still refuse to call his ass!" She said it herself: Damn this would make a real good song. PS- I'm loving the Kid Cudi and Cee-Lo cameos!

Lastly, and certainly not new to The Labyrinth,

Lykke Li "Little Bit"

Showing us that there are degrees of her devotion, Lykke admits that she's only a "little bit" in love. She'll even forget about her "tainted heart" as long as her boo reciprocates her legit, lukewarm feelings.

Apparently, Toronto MC Drake appreciated the "Little Bit" record... he hopped on it, pause, to sing and rhyme- leaking his version last week. Listen to it HERE.

I would do it

Push button

Pull trigger

Climb mountain

Thanks to Shamz for the link.

Are you the BBD, or are you looking for one? Or both?!? The more I listen to relationship-inspired music, the more I'm realizing that everyone's a mess! So if we're all confused, and it's a Darwinian rat race, and technology is warping and re-writing our paths of communication, how is a dater supposed to survive?