Sunday, March 2, 2008

Guest Blog #2

Rory's back. You missed him.
The views expressed in his blogs are his own and do not necessarily represent my views or those of The Labrynth... But that doesn't mean we didn't miss him too.
xo, Zilla


So last night had to be the most interesting time I've had in a LONG time. Anytime you hang out with girls you've "knocked down" before (see: bone, beat, hit, etc....) you take a risk. This could only go a couple of ways. It could literally and figuratively kill you. Now, this all depends on how you left things off with the chic. Did you sneak out at 6am while she laid drooling and snoring in an alcohol-induced partial coma? Did you call her the wrong name during sex, only to have her call you a multitude of wrong names?
There are many roads this drunken evening can take, but the optimal situation is a mutual understanding of "we're just having a good time." This is the key to every casual sexual encounter you will ever have. Once you start asking yourself questions like, "what am I doing?," "is that door locked?" and "who is this person?" then you are pretty much screwed. But if you can convince yourself that both parties are in it for the same thing, you will be fine.
But as I was saying...
Last night was the stuff dreams are made of. I was hanging with a chic that I've previously knocked down, her sister, and some of their friends, when a friendly contest of "I bet you that I can fuck him tonight" develops between this former busty object of my penetration and her posterior packing friend. Now this can be a very dangerous place to be, so if you don't think you can finish up strong, I say bail out now. This is not for you. But for those of you that have stayed, you are to be commended.
Now we have a choice to make, and you can do one of two things: You can just focus on one chic and see where that takes you (which is usually home alone), or you can do what I did: Just LET IT GO and act like the BEST SHIT EVER is NOT about to happen. That's the only way this is gonna turn out good. You can't act all giddy and try and press up on both of these inibriated subjects. Let them do all the work. And now that you've solidified your spot between the two, you are halfway home, so to speak.
This is where it gets tricky... It's now time to pick a venue, but its NOT okay to yell out, "let's get a hotel room!" And if that was your first instinct, stop reading this right now because this isn't for you, nor will it ever be. The theme of this whole thing is relaxing and letting the chips fall where they may. A good idea is to let the girls decide where we will be going after the bar/club/church/temple, etc.... hopefully someplace devoid of cockblockers, as you've already been fending these people off (girls & guys) for the better part of the night. This has to be a place where both girls feel extremely comfortable. Think, the ladies room in a gay bar. That's the level of comfort we're trying to achieve. And now we've come to the finale. It's make-it-or-break-it time folks. When you and these two chickies invariably make it back to one of their cribs - preferably the one without a roommate - it's time to get down to business.
Always position yourself in the middle. At no point do you want these girls to questions what they are doing, and definitely don't let them question what they are about to do. I've brought you this far and the rest is up to you. But if you wake up in the morning, and you're in between two girls, congratulations. And if you wake up next to just one girl, and you smell breakfast,
then you are to be commended.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I should notify my friend about this.